When Optus appoints a Chief Optimism Officer, activate your bulldust detector

Three days after the hack that compromised the figuring out and banking knowledge of tens of millions of Australians, it occurred to Optus to do exactly that. With the poo hitting the propeller, it didn’t concoct some fancy title. It regarded for an actual, outlined and delineated position: a senior supervisor in IT and cyber danger, whose major accountability is “to supply recommendation and assist in all issues associated to danger administration”.


For anybody with a reminiscence reaching again a mere 5 years, that is all just a bit little bit of historical past repeating.

Simply earlier than the banking royal fee, ridiculous job titles and trendy preoccupations had taken the banking world by storm. At one boardroom roundtable on the august Committee for Financial Improvement of Australia, I used to be introduced with the enterprise card of a chap claiming to be the top of “Thought Management & Insights (Company & Institutional Banking)” at Nationwide Australia Financial institution. That was in mid-2017.

In that very same heady few months, Westpac introduced with nice fanfare that it had achieved gender parity in its higher ranks. However the Office Gender Equality Company reported that the variety of feminine executives (folks with actual energy) at Westpac was caught at below 30 per cent. It was quickly revealed that the financial institution had fudged the numbers by bestowing feminine staff with a bunch of bulldust administration roles, little doubt with creative titles, prompting two UTS teachers to ask whether or not the financial institution was “gender gerrymandering”. The banking sector was engulfed in a miasma of managerial guff.

Two months later, within the December of 2017, the Royal Fee into Misconduct within the Banking, Superannuation and Monetary Providers Trade was established. Listening to after listening to aired the substantial issues the banks ought to have been concentrating on whereas they have been busy main company and institutional ideas. Basic items, like not charging lifeless folks charges and stopping cash laundering. Serving their clients effectively and stopping misuse of their companies.


Because the royal fee progressed, the guffsters evaporated. Certainly, they’ve an odd knack of disappearing. I attempted to search for the banking thought chief, solely to search out that he’d eliminated his profile from LinkedIn. I’m not within the enterprise of ruining livelihoods, so I received’t reveal the place I lastly discovered him, however I’m tickled to disclose he now runs an outfit with a reputation similar to The Complication Vacancy, which claims one thing alongside the traces, “the vacancy of complication is the signature of intelligence”.

You and I do know that public ineffectuals will rise once more. Which is why we must always concentrate on the indicators once they manifest, as they at all times clearly do. When an organization begins to dream up fancy titles, run a mile. Begin purchasing round for a critical various to the unserious service supplier losing your cash on company frippery. In case you’re invested, divest – promote, promote, promote.

I can hardly hold observe of what number of backside traces company governance is operating on nowadays, however the bull’s backside line is a key indicator we now all must hold observe of as effectively.

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